proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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