Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I wish you could order shots online.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
