apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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