I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
