If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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