Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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