In the future we'll all be gay
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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