im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
