Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
