Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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