it was like his penis was on wheels.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
