I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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