well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
