Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
