One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Mom said you looked used
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
My life is pants optional.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
