Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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