he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
