She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
