Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
