Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
