three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I think I sprained my soul last night
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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