just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
