no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
