At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize