He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
