Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize