her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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