"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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