the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Say something about gay babies.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
