Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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