I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
