he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
