she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
