We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
