i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
