Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
