I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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