He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
