worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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