so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
We talked him into tasing himself.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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