i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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