K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
