I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
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