By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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