I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Randomize
