I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
