shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
