Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
