I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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