**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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