The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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