Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
