I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
